Still I Rise

Empty mind
Of thoughts
Not mine

Empty reason
Empty rhyme

Every day
I take my life
One decade
At a time

Empty sky
Of sun
Not mine

Empty moon
Empty tide

Every day
I take my pills
One half-life
At a time

Empty ego
Empty pride

Empty mind
Of thoughts
Not mine

Every day
Uncertain
Still I rise
Full of life

Every day
Night falls
Still I rise

Hope And Healing

I’ve been writing the same thing over and over for the last 15 years, and I’m tired. Today I feel less motivated to write anything beyond grocery lists and notes to myself. This is fine.

Next month I’m going back to school to become a Certified Recovery Support Specialist. I’ll get to use my lived experience with mental illness to help other people in their journeys through hope and healing.

I won’t update this blog much going forward, but readers can still find my favorite poems from 2019-2022, along with links to buy my books on Amazon.

For now, I want to close with the testimonial I wrote for the mental health center that changed my life: “I feel less ashamed about what happened to me in the past, and I’m excited to embrace my future.”

Update: On September 13, 2022, I changed my mind and made the entire blog public again.

In Her Infinite Wisdom

Forgiveness,
In her infinite wisdom,
Sighs.

I tell myself:
“This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.”

God’s shadow responds:
“I, too, am suffering.
Suffering is a part of my life.”

We admit
We are powerless
Over time.

I cradle
God’s shadow
In mine.

Forgiveness,
In her infinite wisdom,
Sighs.

Trivial Pursuit Of Happiness Hurts

I once knew a person
Named Ophelia
She worked for United Airlines
She was a stewardess
Or a flight attendant
She was many different
People at the same time

Ophelia get me to a nunnery
I’m a cloud in your sky
I’m an unruly passenger
With this poem I can’t wait
To share online:

“naked and afraid
up all night
weep all day
Big Brother said
Kilroy was here
watching Big Brother
man versus food
man versus nature
man versus man
god versus god
good versus evil
spy versus spy
poet verses poet
verse chorus verse”

To be or not
To be
Ophelia

A stewardess
Or a flight attendant
There’s no question

This trivial pursuit
Of happiness hurts

I’d rather be a cloud
Or the sun in your eyes

Trivial Pursuit Of Happiness

Thesis Antithesis Synthesis
Id Ego Superego
Client Therapist Transference

Cash Credit Debit
People Places Things
They’re Their There

Mind Body Soul
Underactive Thyroid
Overactive Superego

Netflix Hulu Prime
Facebook Twitter Pony Express
Myspace Napster AOL

Anti-Poems Made Of Non-Sense
Like This One Called
Trivial Pursuit Of Happiness

Thesis Antithesis Synthroid
My Reflection Is The Shadow
Of My Not-So-Super Superego

How’s It Hanging?
Little To Left?
Too Far Right?

Low Testosterone
High Blood Pressure
Intensive Care Unit

Rock Paper Scissors
Duck Duck Goose
Skin Tag You’re It

Naked And Afraid
Up All Night
Weep All Day

Big Brother Said
Kilroy Was Here
Watching Big Brother

Man Versus Food
Man Versus Nature
Man Versus Man

God Versus God
Good Versus Evil
Spy Versus Spy

Where Do You
See Your Selfie
In Five Years?

Great News
Your Windows 10
Machine Meets

The Requirements
For A Free Upgrade
To Windows 11

Nothing’s Gonna
Change My World
Across The Metaverse

When You Fall Asleep
You’re LYING Down
Not LAYING Down

Let’s Eat Our Feelings
Bacon Lettuce Tomato
Sloppy G.I. Joe

Uh-Oh SpaghettiOs
Leggo My Superego
Alfred E. Neuman

Ate Too Much
Chuck E. Cheese
What, Me Worry?

Ode To Reese Witherspoon

Billy Corgan spoke in class
Today he said is the greatest day
I’ve ever flown an airplane
High with Eddie Vedder
Over Wrigley Field
But don’t call me
Shirley Temple of the Dog
During the in-flight movie
Monsters vs. Aliens starring
Reese Witherspoon

Dr. Seuss put Paul Newman’s
Fig Newtons all in one
Basket of deplorables
Next to the incredible edible
Fabergé green eggs and silent
Ham radio of the lambs
So let’s go Jodie Foster lock him up
Tomorrow on The Morning Show
Starring Reese Witherspoon

The Incredible Hulk Hogan’s Heroes
Celebrated Halloween on Good Friday
The thirteenth day of Christmas
When the Grinch lost his marbles
Playing Hungry Hungry Psychos
With Hannibal Lecter
And the Hogan family minus
Valerie and Jamie Harper Lee Curtis
And the star of Legally Blonde 2
And Legally Blonde 3
Reese Witherspoon

Dr. Phil Donahue told Maury Povich
I’m not the father of pop psychology
I’m Ryan Phillippe and I know
What you did last summer in the Ozarks
You laundered the color of money
And killed a mockingbird
Named Marty Byrde
Thanks to your cruel intentions

Swine Flu

Cat Stevens was up Schitt’s Creek
Without a paddle after crashing
Eugene Levy’s Chevy
But I said hold on to the night
Because sweet American
Apple pie dreams are made
Of jumbo Dodger Dogs like this
One with red hot chili peppers

Sergeant Pepper told Petula Clark
It’s getting better all the time
Since you’ve been mine
Things will be great
When you’re on Downton Abbey
Say goodbye Norma Jean
Here’s a candle to blow out
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

Billy Joel Armstrong
Sang us a Green Day song
Elton John’s the piano man
I’m Maggie Smith

Little Orphan Annie Lennox
Read a book to Richard Marx
While Daddy Warbucks sang
“Imagine” in the dark
With a little help from my friends
At Central Perk the day
John Lennon died

It’s been sure nice talking
To you but it’s time to put
Little boy blue and the man
In the moon to bed you see
My new job’s a hassle
And the kids have swine flu
But it’s been sure nice
Talking to you Don McLean
Bye-bye Don McLean bye-bye

Pursuit Of Happiness

pursuit of happiness
kids marriage debt
white picket fence

work from home
work from work
work work work

feel like shit
make your bed
lie in it

scratch my back
you do you
go fund me

price is right
come on down
spayed or neutered

adam and eve
jack and jill
adam and steve

spin the bottle
all the way
just the tip

rock paper scissors
duck duck goose
tag you’re it

feel like shit
stay in bed
grind your teeth

give me guns
give me liberty
give me death

stop drop roll
lather rinse repeat
stop drop roll

lather rinse repeat
stop drop roll
lather rinse repeat

give me guns
give me liberty
give me death

Laugh Out Loud

digitized and downsized
we are the binary selves
some switches on
some switches off

we’re smart shoppers
cyberbullies
all God’s children
of divorce

the cement truck
of concrete reality
Amazon primed
to bury us in debt

“depressive syndrome characterized by
pervasive loss of interest
in almost all activities
or appetite disturbance with change in weight
or decreased energy
or feelings of guilt or worthlessness”

now I lay me down to sleep
God is great
pledge allegiance to the flag
God is good

if I die before I wake
post a notice
on my blog
in your own words

lingering between two worlds
neither here nor there
some switches on
some switches off

we twitter while driving
under the influence of text

“manic syndrome characterized by
hyperactivity or pressure of speech
or flight of ideas or inflated self-esteem
or decreased need for sleep
or easy distractibility or delusions
or paranoid thinking”

I tell myself
not to panic
in front of
the children

the lord is my shepherd
beautiful for spacious skies

the lord is my shepherd
the bombs bursting in air

the lord is my Big Brother
the lord is the name of my father

trolls are laughing
laugh out loud

the sky is crawling
underground

laugh out loud
laugh out loud

drones falling
in a forest
make no sound

laugh out loud
laugh out loud

dance like
nobody’s
watching
in the clouds

laugh out
loud laugh
out loud

I Wrote A New Book

My sixth book, Sensitive Soul, is available on Amazon.

Click here to buy it.

Here’s the Amazon description:

In his newest book of poems, Sensitive Soul, Charles B. Snoad continues to heal from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Recurring themes include self-doubt, self-acceptance, God, forgiveness, silence, the moon, the sky, and bodies of water. The speakers in these poems don’t always know who they are or where they’re going, but their voices emanate from the same source: a trauma survivor, in love with words, embracing the power of his sensitive soul.

The Hole Story

I’m OK
with feeling
down today

I woke up
on the wrong side
of my head
with a lump
in my throat
and a limp in my leg

tender is the nightmare
said my father
who never slept
standing up
like a stumbling block

when my father was a kid
a tomboy who chased
him on the playground
said in his mother’s voice:

“the best part of you
is still
running down
your old man’s leg”

or maybe the best
part of me to honor
his memory made
this hole story up

No-Man

Call me No-Man
I will teach you
The meaning of strife

Watch me sink
Or swim
In the belly of a wail
Just a stone’s throw
From a sandcastle
Bucket in the sky

Row your boat
Asunder watch me
Spit or swallow
My pride

Tie forget-me knots
To a paradox before
Graduate schools of fish
Watch me sink
Or swim in the deep
End of knowledge

It’s not the size
Of the No-Man
On an island

It’s the emotion
Of the ocean
Under the weather

Forty-Seven Lines

The dreamer
Wide awake
Within me
Tells a figure
Of speech:

“The dreamer
Wide awake
Within me
Is a figure
Of speech.”

The dreamer
Wide awake
Within me
Is a figure
Of speech

In a poem where
The answer
To the question
“Who am I?”
Is in question.

Here you’ll find
Four stanzas
Five lines each
No wait now
It’s five stanzas

Five lines each
No wait now
It’s six stanzas
Five lines each
Thirty lines in all.

Why limit myself
To thirty lines
When so many words
Dance like angels
On the tip of my tongue

I’m rambling here
In stanza number eight
Which you guessed it
Contains five lines
I’ll stop at line forty-five.

I promise.
Believe me.
This is it.
Stanza nine.
Line forty-five.

Isn’t silence
Divine?