Online Bating

Ever the provocateur, Baudrillard tells us in Baudrillard Live about “the story of the woman to whom a man sends an ardent love letter” (p. 110). “She asks him what part of her seduced him the most. What else can he answer? Her eyes, of course.”

The plot twist: “He receives in the mail, wrapped in brown paper, the woman’s eye.”

The ultimate play of appearances, a literal seduction: “She loses an eye, he loses face.”

Who writes ardent love letters today? Who sends anything in the mail?

The web eliminates distance and, paradoxically, my desire for intimacy. No time for relationships or sexual relations: today I have at my fingertips an endless stream of naughty amateurs with fully functioning lady parts and bills to pay.

If “Amber” ever asks, here’s what about her seduces me the most:

  • her webcam
  • her microphone
  • her keyboard
  • her mouse
  • her modem
  • her internet speed
  • her Wi-Fi connection
  • her ISP
  • her IP address
  • her domain host
  • her SSL protocol
  • her firewall
  • her customer service department
  • her virus protection
  • the vacant look on her face
  • the fact she accepts American Express

2 thoughts on “Online Bating

  1. Tom Trebswether October 12, 2016 / 9:19 am

    I still occasionally write letters. You need to go on a date.


  2. chuck_snoad October 12, 2016 / 10:49 am

    I need more than a date.


Comments are closed.