Right now is Batman tying up Robin? Is Joaquin Phoenix
doing stand-up comedy? Is Elmer Fudd, a notorious
neat freak, hunting dust bunnies? Where’s Ralph Waldo
Emerson right now? Is Walt Whitman shaving his beard?
How many Willows are weeping?
How many Adams are splitting bananas?
How many Jacks are changing flat tires right now?
Of those Jacks, how many know a jazz man?
Of those Jacks—who are changing flat tires
right now and know a jazz man—
how many only date girls named Jill?
Is Forrest Gump saving Private Ryan? Is Tom Hanks
telling Matt Damon World War II wasn’t his fault?
Is Ben Affleck still a prick? No need to answer that,
Batman. Of course Ben Affleck is still a prick.
Now let Robin go. He can’t feel his beak.