Hot Moms In Yoga Pants

Every night in a house that rattles
I suspend my belief in gravity.

Every night in a house that rattles
I take two pills and call
A priest in mourning.

Every night in a house that rattles
I mistake a pinch of salt
For a grain of sand.

Every night in a house that rattles
I sell sex toys and Tupperware
To hot moms in yoga pants.

Every night in a house that rattles
Alex Trebek answers my prayers
In the form of a question

Fats Domino and Little Richard
Play chubby checkers

And I mistake a grain of sand
For an hourglass.

Every night in a house that rattles
Popeye eats Olive Oyl
And a pound of spinach

I clutch my pearls of wisdom
Take two spills and cut
A rug on the ceiling.